My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
