I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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