Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
