When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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