Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
