The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
