your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
being pregnant is like rehab
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
