I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just pee around me
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
