i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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