I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
