Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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