Define "chronic" masturbator.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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