How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
