Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
