Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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