yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She's not a foreskin expert like you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
