I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
