I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
