I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize