um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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