I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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