Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i believe in u and ur pee
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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