All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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