Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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