it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
