Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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