Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
