i always forget guys have bellybuttons
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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