I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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