Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
