at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
