The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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