So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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