I'm lost and stupid without you.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
