I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
