New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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