This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
