I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
should my penis look like a turkey
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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