do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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