HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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