youre lurking in front of me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
