ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
