dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
