He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
