how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
