When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
