I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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