K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have demons in me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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