Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't deserve a penis
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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