Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
