the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize