I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
