I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
