Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
