so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
