Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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