I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
